The Gift of Loss
As someone who spends a lot of time exploring the inner dynamics of life, death, and beyond – it strikes me how quickly all of my academic knowledge quickly fades in a moment of true loss.
As I am navigating the loss of a loved-one, a few lessons are emerging.
1. Loss demands our attention.
The loss of a loved one is the only experience that truly seems to wake us up from the tyranny of the day to day flow of living. Very few experiences have this impact on us and few endure the effects of time.
2. Regret can be a gift.
The tendency to dredge up regrets; reflect on missed opportunities; and ponder “what-ifs” might actually be a gift if we can manage to make use of them. These reflections are opportunities to learn from, repent for, and empower us to emerge as more-refined than we were before. The hard part is to acknowledge them, quickly, and move on. Failure to move on from these will make our recovery more difficult and more painful.
3. Loss is Part of Life on Earth
Loss, as far as I believe [at this point], is only something we can experience here. It is one of the single most refining experiences we can go through on Earth, and as much as we hate it, it brings wisdom. As Solomon wrote, “…with much wisdom comes much sorrow” (Eccl. 1:18).
4. Grief is temporary.
In the midst of the storm it can be easy to forget that grief, generally speaking, lasts for a short period of time. It is not long before our minds begin to forget and we return to the normal , dulled, default of perception.
So, while it lasts, while the pain is still heavy – hug your friends and family; enjoy every breath you take; stare at the sunset a little longer, and let the tears come and go.
