Mussar

Soul Refinement - Humility

In a world intoxicated by the allure of success and recognition, humility stands as a vanishing (and sometimes counter-cultural) virtue. But, developing humility is much easier said than done.

The Hidden Orchard

10 Apr 2024 — 5 min read

In a world intoxicated by the allure of success and recognition, humility is a vanishing (and sometimes counter-cultural) virtue.

Many have realized that developing humility is much easier said than done; modern life seems to provide an unending parade of opportunities to strengthen and empower one's ego.

Anyone who seeks to become more humble will find themselves entangled in a multi-front battle with their ego. This is because the ego lies at the core of nearly every spiritual discipline and character trait (middah) we are expected to refine.

What makes this so difficult is that the ego is an excellent survivalist. It is clever, and formidable - almost sentient in its efforts - determined to undermine our best intentions.

It is for this reason the ego is often associated with the Yetzer Hara¹ and the Satan². So destructive, the Sages suggest that arrogance and the absence of humility delay the arrival of Messiah³.

Yet without confronting our ego, we will never get to the root of our fallen traits. On this idea, Alan Morinis writes⁴:

... humility is a primary soul-trait to work on because it entails an unvarnished and honest assessment of who you are. Without this accurate self-awareness, nothing else in your inner life will come into focus in its true measure...

Without humility, either you will be so puffed up with arrogance that you won’t even see what really needs some work, or you will be so deflated and lacking in self-esteem that you will despair of being able to make the changes that are lit up so glaringly in your self-critical mind.

Though it seems pedantic, let's start with a working definition of humility.

What is Humility?

For many, humility conjures up ideas of passivity and traits that closely resemble weakness. A humble person is often perceived as someone who rarely speaks up, refrains from causing a stir, and is easily taken advantage of.

Passivity is not the Biblical model of humility. While translated as meakness, Biblical examples of humility include Moses and Pinchas, who, nullifying themselves, put G_D's Will above their own, no matter the cost.

This gets us closer to the Biblical definition of 'humble,' (Anav/ענו). Humility, in this sense, can be practically understood as acting on behalf of G_D and others, to do what is right, regardless of the consequences.

Like many traits, humility is connected to the ideas of Trust⁵ and Emunah. This implies a broader view, accepting that all we have is from the Creator. According to the Sages, seeking to attain more than we are given, or placing ourselves above others implies an expectation of entitlement or even a low level of atheism⁶!

Another component is often spoken about in Chassidic texts, self-nullification. In this idea, serving our ego comes at the cost of serving the Creator. The more of ourselves we cling to, the less room there is for Hashem.

In essence, humility is doing the Will of the Creator - learning to subdue our own will to create space for the higher Will. This is why the Torah tells us that Moses was the most humble person⁷.

Ibn Ezra explained this is largely because Moses never viewed himself as superior to any person, nor did he ever pride himself at all on his high position. Not publicly, and not internally.

While many of us have become quite adept at suppressing our fallen middot publicly, removing these traits from our internal monologue and thought processes will take a lifetime to perfect.

Humility Equals Closer Proximity

Put simply, the more we can shift into humility, the closer we become to G_D. If you find someone who is arrogant, you have found someone who has been disconnected from the Creator to a commensurate degree.

The worst part of the ego is that it masks our condition. It cleverly justifies why we are superior to others, deserve more than we have been given, and why everything that happens to us is someone else's fault.

Instead of listening and taking inventory of our contributions to a negative situation, the ego shields us, making us unaware of ourselves, and digging us deeper into the hole.

But, there is hope.

Duties of the Heart

In the classic work "Duties of the Heart⁸," an entire section is dedicated to humility. Here, the author provides a list of means by which we can develop this virtue.

Paraphrasing these ideas, below are (10) ways to develop humility.

1. Become more aware of the works of the Creator. In a simple sense, this means to be in constant awe of the Creator’s works. On another level, this is developing Emunah, to always know that everything that happens is part of His plan.

2. Study the Torah and the words of Scripture. This will help connect us to a higher dimension and develop us through the lessons and wisdom therein.

3. Don't take things so personally. As the Sages have said, one who is not offended does not offend. Let insults roll off of us and do not seek retaliation or to clear your name from the day-to-day attacks we might endure.

4. Act kindly towards others and judge them favorably as much as possible.

5. We should seek to be more humble and generous in all areas our lives. We should not have extreme variance from who we are at work and who we when home.

When we find ourselves embarrassed, consider it an opportunity to laugh and be thankful for the opportunity to learn how to suppress our ego.⁹

6. We should prioritize our deeds, words, and thoughts for the world to come - always being aware that we are on a mission in this life.

7. We should strive to do all we do for the glory of the Creator - not ourselves. This alone is a radical departure from modern society. Instead, we should do our best to make sure we represent Hashem to the highest level we can.

8. Become more content with all the Creator has given us and not seek to attain more than He has determined is good for us.

9. We should [carefully] help others serve the Creator. This includes teaching them His ways and wisdom, even rebuking [with care and proper motives] if necessary¹⁰.

10. We should be more careful with how, and with whom we spend our time. Seek to align our priorities around the Creator, and invest in friendships that conform to that cause.