Wellness

Soul Refinement - Judging Others Favorably

Translated as "Judging others favorably," this principle encourages us to approach others with understanding, compassion, and empathy. The Torah teaches that we are to assume the best when dealing with the conduct of others, not the worst.

The Hidden Orchard

25 Aug 2023 — 4 min read

In a world often characterized by snap judgments and quick condemnations, the Jewish ethic of "Dan L'kaf Zechut" shines as a beacon of light for transforming our consciousness.

This is of particular importance as we prepare ourselves at this time, in the month of mercy.

The excellent book, "The Other Side of the Story," gives the following explanation.

Judging others favorably means finding acceptable excuses for questionable behavior, excuses which make sense to us and leave us with a positive feeling about the other person. It is based on a desire to see the best in others...¹

Dan L'kaf Zechut offers a timeless guide to fostering harmonious relationships and creating a more compassionate society.

Understanding Dan L'kaf Zechut

At its core, Dan L'kaf Zechut is a call to resist making hasty judgments about others' actions, words, or intentions. We should always seek more information before coming to judgment.

This is especially difficult when social media and the mainstream media tend to present material that will incite emotionally charged [and often] false impressions. In truth, the more extreme the emotional reaction, the better the ratings and revenue.

Though these outlets often wantonly capitalize on this financial windfall, it is not without significant spiritual din (judgment). We must be extremely careful not to accept these portrayals as truth without research.

When someone slights us, we should avoid the urge to assume a personal attack. Instead, we are urged to seek alternative explanations, assume good intentions, and extend forgiveness when faced with uncertainty and ambiguity.

If we accidentally hurt someone, we would hope for the benefit of doubt and the opportunity to make amends. As the Chasidic master, the Baal Shem Tov said:

Just as we love ourselves despite the shortcomings we have, so should we love others despite the shortcomings they have. - The Baal Shem Tov

Compounding Sin

If we learn the art of judging others favorably, we may be able to avoid compounding sins. The Chafetz Chaim warns² that most Lashon Hara³ stems from judging others negatively.

For example, someone tells us their boss is a "jerk." They may have a good reason for this assessment, but often, this kind of judgment comes without considering what may be happening in their life that could be contributing to this behavior.

If the listener accepts this as truth - without investigation - they may be vulnerable to violating the prohibition of "accepting a false report"⁴, if it is untrue.

In this, the speaker and the listener have potentially engaged in (3) devastating sins: Lashon Hara (Evil speech), Accepting a false report, and not judging another favorably!

The Origins of Dan L'kaf Zechut

In the Talmud⁵, we read:

One who judges another favorably is himself judged favorably.

This statement underscores the idea that, as humans, we should strive to see the best in others, even when circumstances seem to suggest otherwise. In return, we, too, will be judged with mercy. This idea is taught in the Gospel of Matthew as well:

For by the standard you judge, you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive.
- Matthew 7:2

Practical Applications of Dan L'kaf Zechut

Preserving Relationships:
One of the most evident benefits of practicing Dan L'kaf Zechut is its potential to maintain and strengthen relationships. Misunderstandings and conflicts often arise from misinterpretations and negative assumptions. Giving others the benefit of the doubt can prevent unnecessary conflicts and promote peace.
Humility and Blessing
Dan L'kaf Zechut encourages us to put ourselves in others' shoes. It reminds us that we, too, make mistakes, have our off days, and sometimes act out of character. Extending this understanding to others fosters empathy and compassion, creating a more compassionate society.

Additionally, it brings with it a measure of Blessing and Mercy (Chesed), clearing away transgressions we have accrued⁶.
Personal Growth:
Embracing this ethic also offers opportunities for personal growth. It encourages self-reflection, humility, and a commitment to continuous improvement. Refraining from harsh judgments can cultivate a more positive and open-minded outlook on life.

Dan L'kaf Zechut stands as a timeless and universal ethic that transcends religious boundaries. Its message of understanding, compassion, and empathy can transform how we interact with one another, fostering more harmonious relationships and a kinder world.

By embracing this principle, we can strive to be better versions of ourselves, one judgment at a time.