Torah

7 Habits that Sabotage Our Spiritual Growth and How to Overcome Them

Here are (7) common habits that sabotage our spiritual connection and some guidance to help us overcome them.

The Hidden Orchard

07 Jul 2024 — 7 min read

Let's face it, a comprehensive list of spirituality-sabotaging habits would take hours to go through. However, many of these bad habits are merely branches that stem from a handful of root issues.

For many of us, our spiritual discipline is aimed to deal with a vast array of external challenges, but it is often the internal battles that significantly impede our growth.

Here are (7) common habits that sabotage our spiritual connection and some guidance to help us overcome them.

1. Discontent and Unhappiness

The Habit: It seems humans are biased towards negativity. We'll notice the 1% that is not perfect when 99% of things are going really well.

String enough of these experiences together, and you'll have discontentment. If unchecked, discontentment leads to a lack of fulfillment, and even depression. But there is something deeper here.

Discontentment is a sign that we are not in a state of Emunah (faith). In this state of mind, our perception is clouded, and we overlook the bigger picture. Instead of searching within, we seek external sources - things, stuff, even relationships - hoping to acquire what we feel we lack.

Economies thrive on our collective sense of lack, and marketing campaigns manufacture more discontent through ads and the constant promise that wholeness can be bought.

Jewish Wisdom: Many concepts from the Torah tradition might resolve this dilemma, but one is the concept of "Hakarat HaTov" (recognizing the good) in every situation. Instead of looking outward for solutions, take inventory of what you have already, and be thankful.

For starters, appreciate that you feel something is missing. This is a reminder that your battery is low and that you need to recharge. Practicing this kind of gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have.

"Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion." ¹

2. Worry and Fear

The Habit: Worry is an incessant fear about the future, draining our mental and emotional energy in the now. It is also an underlying factor in many physical illnesses. Worry and fear work hand in hand to knock us out of alignment in the short and long term.

Fear is a powerful motivational tool. On one hand, the fear of dying young can cause someone to make drastic health changes for the good. Fear causes us to act quickly.

But, as we are witnessing in our time, the application of fear can also be abused. When fear is applied in acute spikes, or for long periods, people make foolish trade offs, and will give up almost anything for the allure of certainty.

Jewish Wisdom: Trusting in G_D's plan is a fundamental aspect of Biblical faith. If we are struggling to trust in the plan, take some time and explore why this is so. What is blocking you from letting go and having Bitachon (trust).

In the meantime, a favorite saying² I turn to can help triage worry in an instant:

Rabbi Yehiel said, "Never worry about two things - that which can be corrected and that which cannot be corrected. That which can be corrected should be corrected at once, without worry. That which cannot be corrected, worrying will not help."

3. Distraction

The Habit: In our world, distractions abound, pulling us away from moments of reflection and connection. It seems there is an endless parade of overstimulation, engineered to inhibit us from listening, connecting, and exploring our inner space. This is actually by design!

Jewish Wisdom: The solution - Meditation and Prayer! The Hebrew words for Meditation and Prayer are Hitbodedut and Tefillah - but this is much more than reciting a nightly wishlist to G_D. In ancient times, prayer was meditation³.

From a place of introspection we can connect with our purpose in life. If we don't make time to listen and center ourselves, we'll never hear what the Creator is trying to tell us.

Also, pay attention to the times when your attention is diverted. This often happens to me when listening to an important part of a podcast. Perhaps your yetzer hara is trying to prevent you from hearing something important.

By minimizing distractions⁴ and dedicating more time to quality prayer and meditation, we deepen our spiritual awareness and reconnect with our mission.

4. Lack of Vision

The Habit: Without a clear vision or purpose, our spiritual journey can feel aimless and uninspired. Proverbs 29:18 states,

"Where there is no vision, the people perish."

How do we know what 'good' looks like if we have not spent any time thinking about it? How can we know when we have made any progress?

Jewish Wisdom: Spend some time thinking about your goal. Then, set an intention to achieve it. Even visualize what it will look like when you cross the finish line.

Sefer Yetzirah states that "The end is embedded in the beginning," teaching that a clear and holy intention at the beginning of a journey will guide us to the outcome.

To gain momentum, choose small achievable milestones towards this goal. Say, you want to become better at meditating. Commit to meditate (5) times a week, and cross them off when you are finished.

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Consider finding a spiritual mentor or a friend to help you craft your vision - and help keep you on track when you stray.

5. Controlling the Outcomes

The Habit: It is not a negative thing to want to avoid unnecessary difficulties in life - in reality, it is our responsibility to be prepared. But, we step out of bounds when we apply controls to every aspect of life.

The most challenging aspect of this trait is that we are often unaware we are doing it. The result is usually frustration and disappointment when things do not go our way.

Jewish Wisdom: The Bible teaches the importance of surrendering to the Creator's Will. To achieve this, we must replace the lack of certainty with trust (Bitachon)⁵ that all things will work out the way they are supposed to. First, we do our part, and take the rest as it comes. And, remember not to worry!

6. Viewing Things As Disconnected from the Creator

The Habit: Viewing life as a series of random, disconnected events is the small view, and only leads to a perception of meaninglessness. It is like looking at a single puzzle piece and not perceiving that this is only a part of a larger picture.

In essence, this limited view can be a kind of low-level atheism where we simply forget that G_D is running the show.

Jewish Wisdom: The principle of "Hashgacha Pratit" (Divine Providence) teaches that everything happens for a reason and nothing it outside of G_D's greater plan.

Recognizing the interconnectedness of all things, people, and experiences fosters a sense of purpose and connection.

This is especially true when we cannot see how an event could be for the ultimate good. Our job then is to simply use the opportunity to strengthen our perspective. As Bruce Lee once said:

"Do not pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

7. Seeking Convenience

The Habit: Pressing the "Easy button" will save us time and trouble in the short term, but will cost us dearly down the road. This is because convenience enables us to avoid challenges that are essential for our growth.

The paradox is that shortcuts will ultimately take us on a longer route. It is a form of cosmic procrastination, but one way or another, we will have to pass the tests to move forward.

Jewish Wisdom: The Jewish tradition values the concept of "Mesirat Nefesh" (self-sacrifice). This doesn't mean extreme self-denial but rather the willingness to go beyond our comfort zones for growth. With this, we opt to deal with difficult situations head-on because we know that it is for these that our soul is here. In this, we sacrifice convenience in the now for the growth in the long run.

Again, in Pirke Avot, we read:

"According to the effort is the reward."

Embracing effort, determination, and challenges will propel us forward in our spiritual practices - and, make us more resilient for the challenges ahead.